George ended staying up until 1:00 a.m. this morning translating my handouts into Swahili and then running them off so that we could have them when we started this morning. I am so thankful for him. He is truly an outstanding translator as I mentioned in my last post.
At 9:00 this morning there were exactly 0 people in the conference room. It followed the pattern of yesterday, people trickling in slowly, nobody in a particular hurry to arrive. By 10:00 there were 7 or 8 people and we decided to have our coffee and tea break with the hope that more people would arrive while we were on break. That in fact did happen and we began the session at 10:30, a vast improvement over 11:20.
My biggest concern was that couples who had not made it yesterday would attend. It wasn't that they didn't learned yesterday's materials, but that they would significantly dilute the trust level that emerged and which allowed some of the deeper sharing to occur yesterday. There were actually more than twice as many people attending today as yesterday. I decided to address that issue by having one wife and one husband share with the group what they had learned yesterday rather than me summarizing. I knew how enthusiastic and energized the group was yesterday and thought that it would have a positive impact on the new people. I think it did help for by the end of the training there was a good deal of people risking to make themselves vulnerable in what they said.
The two topics we discussed were Dealing with Conflict and Issues Concerning Sex.I was especially curious on how they would respond to the the section on sex since sex is really not discussed in this culture. The couples were hungry to learn, asked questions, made comments, and were fully engaged. I was surprised by their response to the material concerning sex. We talked more explicitly about sexual issues than I thought they would be comfortable with, but we had some interesting discussions.
Once again, the women by their comments, investment in the conversations, the smiles on their faces were thrilled with this seminar. They didn't want the seminar to end. In terms of the evaluations, nearly everyone put as the major weakness of the seminar was not enough time. So the men felt that way as well. But I spent a lot of time helping husbands understand why their wives respond the way they do, and the wives would be shaking their heads in agreement as I was speaking. (It kind of felt like the experience I have had in an African-American church where people in the congregation make comments while the preacher is preaching, like, "Amen" and "Preach it brother."). One wife came up to me after we had finished and thanked me saying, "When we came here our marriage was in a big hole but now we have come out of it." She was beaming. Another reason the women were particularly eager to stay is that their husbands captive for the time they were there and through some of the work and assignments I gave the couples, could talk with them, share feelings that they are not normally able to share, and enjoy being with them.
One couple sitting right in front of the podium caught my attention. I marveled at the way the husband spoke about their marriage, the way he gently touched her shoulder as he talked about her, and in general is tenderness in talking with her. I actually used him as an example of the way a husband should treat his wife.
I want to share a couple of pictures from today. The first is a picture of Janeth (not a typo) who is a WVT staff person who was helping George out. When I saw the colorful dress that she wore to the seminar this morning, I told her that I had to take a picture of her. She is married and has two children.
This second picture is of Pastor Masirika Mwambusa and his wife. I was very impressed with his thoughtfulness, vulnerability, honesty, and his gentle presence. He asked excellent questions. He was drinking up this seminar. He is actually a missionary to Tanzania from the DRC (Democratic Republic of the Congo). He lives on the border with Rwanda and has been in Tanzania for about a year. He asked me at the end of the conference if his wife could take a picture of us together. Afterwards, I took this picture of him and his wife.
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I want to offer a heartfelt thanks to all of you who have been praying for me and for this seminar. It was a great success and WVT wants me to come back to do more training. There is such a great need for this here (and probably everywhere).
Tomorrow afternoon I head for Entebbe via Nairobi. I should arrive in Entebbe around 7:00 pm. i would ask for your continued prayers and especially for Joan and Michelle who will be heading to Uganda on Friday.
At 9:00 this morning there were exactly 0 people in the conference room. It followed the pattern of yesterday, people trickling in slowly, nobody in a particular hurry to arrive. By 10:00 there were 7 or 8 people and we decided to have our coffee and tea break with the hope that more people would arrive while we were on break. That in fact did happen and we began the session at 10:30, a vast improvement over 11:20.
My biggest concern was that couples who had not made it yesterday would attend. It wasn't that they didn't learned yesterday's materials, but that they would significantly dilute the trust level that emerged and which allowed some of the deeper sharing to occur yesterday. There were actually more than twice as many people attending today as yesterday. I decided to address that issue by having one wife and one husband share with the group what they had learned yesterday rather than me summarizing. I knew how enthusiastic and energized the group was yesterday and thought that it would have a positive impact on the new people. I think it did help for by the end of the training there was a good deal of people risking to make themselves vulnerable in what they said.
The two topics we discussed were Dealing with Conflict and Issues Concerning Sex.I was especially curious on how they would respond to the the section on sex since sex is really not discussed in this culture. The couples were hungry to learn, asked questions, made comments, and were fully engaged. I was surprised by their response to the material concerning sex. We talked more explicitly about sexual issues than I thought they would be comfortable with, but we had some interesting discussions.
Once again, the women by their comments, investment in the conversations, the smiles on their faces were thrilled with this seminar. They didn't want the seminar to end. In terms of the evaluations, nearly everyone put as the major weakness of the seminar was not enough time. So the men felt that way as well. But I spent a lot of time helping husbands understand why their wives respond the way they do, and the wives would be shaking their heads in agreement as I was speaking. (It kind of felt like the experience I have had in an African-American church where people in the congregation make comments while the preacher is preaching, like, "Amen" and "Preach it brother."). One wife came up to me after we had finished and thanked me saying, "When we came here our marriage was in a big hole but now we have come out of it." She was beaming. Another reason the women were particularly eager to stay is that their husbands captive for the time they were there and through some of the work and assignments I gave the couples, could talk with them, share feelings that they are not normally able to share, and enjoy being with them.
One couple sitting right in front of the podium caught my attention. I marveled at the way the husband spoke about their marriage, the way he gently touched her shoulder as he talked about her, and in general is tenderness in talking with her. I actually used him as an example of the way a husband should treat his wife.
I want to share a couple of pictures from today. The first is a picture of Janeth (not a typo) who is a WVT staff person who was helping George out. When I saw the colorful dress that she wore to the seminar this morning, I told her that I had to take a picture of her. She is married and has two children.
This second picture is of Pastor Masirika Mwambusa and his wife. I was very impressed with his thoughtfulness, vulnerability, honesty, and his gentle presence. He asked excellent questions. He was drinking up this seminar. He is actually a missionary to Tanzania from the DRC (Democratic Republic of the Congo). He lives on the border with Rwanda and has been in Tanzania for about a year. He asked me at the end of the conference if his wife could take a picture of us together. Afterwards, I took this picture of him and his wife.
I want to offer a heartfelt thanks to all of you who have been praying for me and for this seminar. It was a great success and WVT wants me to come back to do more training. There is such a great need for this here (and probably everywhere).
Tomorrow afternoon I head for Entebbe via Nairobi. I should arrive in Entebbe around 7:00 pm. i would ask for your continued prayers and especially for Joan and Michelle who will be heading to Uganda on Friday.
Sounds like you dug right in, hitting sensitive topics for the culture - equality of women and sex! I'm so glad you were well received and the couples benefited so much. Praise God!
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